I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize