there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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