omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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