i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
