they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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