its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
