A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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