At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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