i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
