I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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