as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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