Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
