"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
