his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
