I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
