zippers are such a cool invention
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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