this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Randomize
