I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
