she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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