i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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