Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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