i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize