I'm drive I can fine osifer
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
