"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
