help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
