In the future we'll all be gay
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
