Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
