Whod you bang
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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