he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
