with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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