I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
