So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
