he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
