Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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