Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
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its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
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There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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