he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize