he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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