Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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