we're blogging at a bar
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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