he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
