He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
