If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
