Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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