whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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