Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
