I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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