how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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