Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
