We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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