My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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