And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
