Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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