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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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