never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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