I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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