you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
