If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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