All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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