doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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