I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
