dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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