I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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