And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
