my phone cant type all the emotion im having
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
